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PUBLISHED PIECES
I, ELON MUSK, WILL PAY $47 TO ANYONE WHO CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME (McSweeney’s)
TOP 12 POST-BIRTH ABORTION METHODS (McSweeney’s)
WHY YES, THIS HUMAN INTERNMENT CAMP DID USED TO BE A TOPGOLF (McSweeney’s)
GOD’S DEBUT COLUMN FOR NYTIMES.COM (Originally published on PointsInCase.com)
WHY OUR RACEHORSES KEEP DYING: THE SERIAL KILLER HORSE THEORY
TED CRUZ’ YEARBOOK SUPERLATIVES (Originally Published on RobutButt.com)
7 SCORCHING HOT K-POP ACTS YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT RN
ALTERNATE LINES FOR THE CLIMACTIC FINAL SCENE OF THE ROCK
If you’ve burned through the above, email me and I can send you more.
AUDIO SKETCHES
WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN - CRUELTY TO ANIMALS EDITION
Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have pluralized audio sketches.